~Memoires~

Tend to turn into hippie when I'm spaced out,
More of love on spreading her than spreading love,
Reminiscing nights when she moaned till the AM; didn't fancy outs,
Eyes so low, bloodshot, itsy drunk, god damn! still sprung!
Wall to wall, from the bed to the carpet, to the dresser,
My skin to her skin like that Prada I dressed her,
Tagging on long Red hair, her fore spread her ass and the other pulled me closer,
Ripping the leggins on her thick goosebumbed thighs,
All hot & steaming, oh so high,
Disliking the missionary, nothing to do religion,
Going down, She twist and turns like I'm performing exorsim,
9mm of nail is dug on my upper back,
Her neck; caramel or hazelnut as I bite & suck,
Kamasutra; Not rubbers but technique,
She rams my back to the wall,
Hand jobs as her tongue settled on my balls,
Memories when I played Dracula,
Inspect her like a gyna,
Use the tip of my index as a stethoscope;
Listen to her heartbeat through her erect nipple,
My tongue the thermometer to oraly check her temperature,
Suck her juices like Adam with the forbidden fruit,
Thoughts of my motive which was rather sinful,
Nineteen with nothing but the tightest pussy stuck on my mental,
Who knows, maybe I will end up wifing her,
Love or lust, regardless we'll fuck cause the trife in us,
It's deep rooted, the music of being young and dumb,
Its never muted, in fact it's much louder where we from,
Thought of it as Love maybe the love for Lust and well
Always in heat like a cactus, my tactics of being thirsty
Enthused by the touch of a woman she's a masseuse
And I'm a professional porn star "with the stamina of a grown moose"
Aleast that's what she said before she called me god,
Her body is my canvas,
I guess that's why they call me Picasso
Wet Silk beddings in the morning,
Blowing smoke we Do it Again no time for yawning

~Love Notes As I Toke~

She wrote me a love note,
how she wanted to reveal herself.

In this note she told me,
how she wanted to undress herself before me, adore me, allow me to know her,
in her infinite array.

She asked in such a delicate and inviting way,
that I leaned into her fragrance
and allowed her tongue to reach into my chasmed disorientation,
my emotional insecurities,
and allowed her to know me,
in the softness of my melancholy.

She wished to wander into my pain,
and touch
and tug at me,

unfold me, and lick
and whisper into my truest-self
the nature of all wisdom,
the heart knowing no boundaries in its capacity
for a compassion built of loving and uncondemning insights.

Her lips were gentle,
she said,
and wished to kiss me,
through my defenses,
nape and naked moaning,
to hold and shuffle of my sadnesses,
and to reveal her inner-self,
a gaping moistness,
to both mother and love,
and find her satisfaction in,
with me,
in our arms,
in her evening.

I lifted up her letter and held it to my face
and never knew a moment,
before or since,
except to be within the honey of her sweet scented flower;
the opacity of transformation has become a blindness to my burdens,
and she is the answer to my Dreams.

~ Lost ~

I've been lonely, I've been waiting for you
I'm pretending, and that's all I can do
The love I'm sending ain't making it through to your hearts
I hope you hear me Sweeties

Pain, since I've lost you, I'm lost too
"Trippy Maniac" I think I should get that tattooed
Feeling at the bottom like a horse shoe
Hell's hot basement
Sorry for the trouble that me and momma put you and your tiny hearts through
The Most High knows that I'd do anything for a part two
Been praying for the day you all come back to me, saying that you forgive me
Give me another chance, I'm needing it like a kidney
Like my silent Heart Beat,
I don't want advice, give me back their beautiful souls
Give me back her touch, I don't ask for much
But I fucked up, I know I fucked up, I admit I fucked up
But erybody fuck up, now this tripper feels locked up
In my head I'm a blind man doing time
Puffing on lye hopping they get me high...
I was her gangster, bet she'd have called me Big Poppa
I ain't lying she was the pistol to my holster
I've been hiding, never letting it show
Always trying, to keep it under control
Insane, Depressed, sad...
And K'Naan telling me to smile when I bleed?
Sucking on that roach facing Heaven wondering did they make it?

I remember erything, I just wanna hear her sing
I remember the fun you had, right after ery bath
To me you all are the brightest stars under sunlight
Behind this RayBans, deep down my heart Burns,
See take away my breath, take away my heart
All I need is you to give me back my loved ones, my 'lives'

See this is just a nightmare,
That's what the voices tell me
So I blink twice *shrugs*
Open up my eyes hoping they'd be in my sight
I remember the time, I wish I could bring it back
What they mean to me, is what I walk on and spins round and round
Eryday hoping it's just a dream .. DAMN!

~Trippy Maniac~

I wake up...
But the funny thing was, I never went to sleep.
What trickery is this? What illusion?
Time hasn't passed. So why were my eyes closed?
Were they even closed? I can't tell.
Why can't I tell?!

Lets rewind to an half hour ago.
I was normal.
Pretty normal.
Okay! Almost normal. Jee!
Anyway, so I linger back forth,
nervous in my approach, across the room,
thinking about what's going to happen.
It was such a small chunk of cellulose and fiber.
Tasteless, numb.
Secretly bleeding its sins on my tongue.
Playfully.

"Come dance with me", she said.
I turned around without a protest.
An empty room is all I see.
Quiet and still, still calling to me.
Hurriedly I run to the songs,
to help me block out this voice inside my head.
Hip Hop,Trance & Techno, take me really high.
Twisted tones at torturous speeds,
eating my mind before it yields.
Loud music in my brain, makes me feel I'm going insane.
These hands now climb from the back of my head.
And with the music they rise and fall.
It pumps, and beats, it ruses and lures your sub-conscience out to play.
With your eyes, and your ears, your skin, your tongue, your breath.
Your very mind is detached from you.
Steady they climb.
The rise is yet to come.
A shiver here, a tingle there,
and you're already racing faster than the speed of light.
The faster the music gets, the quicker it rises now.
You feel that haunting chill down your spine come alive.
Like you know that something bad is gonna happen.
I welcome it.
Wasn't that the whole point of this?
I mean its not like I'm going to die, right?
And BAAM! It hits you.
Your eyes are open, but you can't register what's before them.
Its all a big paused picture,
something from a 'still life' painting or some shit.
But you don't even know how to react to it.
And that's fucking maddening...

And that went on for quite a while.
'Til disorientation tossed me into delirium.
Like a nuclear bomb of 'euphoria' exploded in my head.
Like those hands, crawling up the back of my neck,
all the way up to the top of my head,
with those cold fingers creeping not ever so slightly,
searching for a sweet spot to just dive in and poke around my brain.
Just toy with it for fuck's sake.
Because that's just how it is man.
And so comes another shiver.
I'm so aware now.
I can sense everything, hear everything,
and feel everything around me so briskly ,
that I feel I'm more than just a man.
I feel like the wind.
Blowing with the breeze and the rising screams of the drum and bass and the synthesizer.
The world around me is a blurry haze.
There's no one I can call to pick me up if I fall.
But I don't think I'd wanna. Its worth the risk.
For the next 22 hours I shall be presumed dead.
For I knew what was coming my way. But I guess I'm just that stupid.
This thirst to know the dark side hasn't been rid of me.
It calls to madness to reveal its ugly head and awaken the maniac inside.
And birth - A maniac.

Now sitting amongst the sweeping silence of this sordid room,
'neath a metal fan, buzzing on the juice, just like you,
you muse yourself to consider frail hope.
If only you weren't such a dumb ass, you could have survived.
These creaking sounds coming from the corners are new to me.
Dark is the room.
Well lit.
My eyes see something more rather, other than what they should.
Its funny as hell how these tingles never stop.
Another one streaks across me, and then there were two.
Ooh, what fun!

In bright and sober tranquility morning came.
A day had passed and I was the same.
What a trip! What a shame!
'Til we meet again, painless pain.

~Wilting Rose~

You will be the death of me,

Then again you give me life,

With every impulse you throw at me,

Like a thought being processed,

Takes a while for me to understand,

But when I do, your gone...

I have to savor your love,

Not take it for granted...
Like wilting roses on a dining room table,

What you do to me is special , it's kind,

Its everything I need to survive,

But you leave and death lingers in my heart,

It devours my soul and leaves me helpless...

Like a crab with no shell,

Like a toothless lion,

And I lay still for a while, untouched

Then your eyes cause my heart to beat into rhythm,

And I realize your love is the missing piece in my puzzle,

You keep me going in this changing world,

And nothing else matters anymore...

As if I was a child who lost his mother
You cradle my heart.

~Cataclysm~

From my brown eyes

A tear drop falls

The heart it aches
The pain emanates

Hurt

Mind races
Thoughts unclear

Darkness

Rapid breathing
Can’t catch a breath
Nothing more then a panic attack

Anxiety

Bewilderment
What is wrong with Me?!

Hoping verything will be ok
I'll take one of these
And two of'em
A day

Medicate

Sleep with no dreams
Stars shine
But have no gleam

Tranquil

No tears
No fears
No heart pounding
Breathless

Numb

Ok so it’s one of these
And two of them

Why is it not working anymore?

Just another of these, maybe a couple
And a few more of them

Oh yeah! there it is . . .

Can't feel my face. . .

Add a few of these to those
And bring in some of that
This should do the trick

Waking up with drool glistening
On my face

Now it's not my choice at which
Those or them or a little of this

I'm hooked
Can not go with out

Quesy. . .

In need of my bottled companions

A tear streams down my check
As I look in the mirror

Who is this?

Why am I here?

Where has erybody gone?

We haven’t gone anywhere, but you have. . .

LOST!

~The Silent Killer~

He's standing above her face,
Holding the ripped lace.


"I shouldn't have worn that outfit"

But she can't be blamed for it

The police won't do anything,

"She brought it on herself,
too pretty this young thing."

No evidence could she bring.
His vile seed was gone.
She waited too long.

She's gaining weight.
She can no longer stay up late.
But she must..
Cuz she sees his face when she closes her eyes.
She hates her sight in the mirror.
Her pants are beginning not to fit.
It's time, but she's been
dreading it.
Here comes the pregnancy kit.
+

Dirty.
Worthless.
Used.
Disgusting.
Whore.
The thoughts run through her mind.
She feels she has committed a crime.
Anyone on the outside would say,

"Not your fault."

But, believe with them, she will
not.

Her belly is begginning to swell.
Suicide is on her mind,
and punishment is hell.
But maybe she deserves it.
She thinks.
The blood is filling up the sink

And now, two gravestones.
Beautiful murals upon them are shown.
They sit next to each other.
A child laying next to her 19 year old mother.

683,000 forcible rapes occur every year,
which equals 56,916 per month,
1,871 per day, 78 per hour,
and 1.3 per minute.
RAPE PREVENTION
I hope...this got your attention.