~ Lost ~

I've been lonely, I've been waiting for you
I'm pretending, and that's all I can do
The love I'm sending ain't making it through to your hearts
I hope you hear me Sweeties

Pain, since I've lost you, I'm lost too
"Trippy Maniac" I think I should get that tattooed
Feeling at the bottom like a horse shoe
Hell's hot basement
Sorry for the trouble that me and momma put you and your tiny hearts through
The Most High knows that I'd do anything for a part two
Been praying for the day you all come back to me, saying that you forgive me
Give me another chance, I'm needing it like a kidney
Like my silent Heart Beat,
I don't want advice, give me back their beautiful souls
Give me back her touch, I don't ask for much
But I fucked up, I know I fucked up, I admit I fucked up
But erybody fuck up, now this tripper feels locked up
In my head I'm a blind man doing time
Puffing on lye hopping they get me high...
I was her gangster, bet she'd have called me Big Poppa
I ain't lying she was the pistol to my holster
I've been hiding, never letting it show
Always trying, to keep it under control
Insane, Depressed, sad...
And K'Naan telling me to smile when I bleed?
Sucking on that roach facing Heaven wondering did they make it?

I remember erything, I just wanna hear her sing
I remember the fun you had, right after ery bath
To me you all are the brightest stars under sunlight
Behind this RayBans, deep down my heart Burns,
See take away my breath, take away my heart
All I need is you to give me back my loved ones, my 'lives'

See this is just a nightmare,
That's what the voices tell me
So I blink twice *shrugs*
Open up my eyes hoping they'd be in my sight
I remember the time, I wish I could bring it back
What they mean to me, is what I walk on and spins round and round
Eryday hoping it's just a dream .. DAMN!

~Trippy Maniac~

I wake up...
But the funny thing was, I never went to sleep.
What trickery is this? What illusion?
Time hasn't passed. So why were my eyes closed?
Were they even closed? I can't tell.
Why can't I tell?!

Lets rewind to an half hour ago.
I was normal.
Pretty normal.
Okay! Almost normal. Jee!
Anyway, so I linger back forth,
nervous in my approach, across the room,
thinking about what's going to happen.
It was such a small chunk of cellulose and fiber.
Tasteless, numb.
Secretly bleeding its sins on my tongue.
Playfully.

"Come dance with me", she said.
I turned around without a protest.
An empty room is all I see.
Quiet and still, still calling to me.
Hurriedly I run to the songs,
to help me block out this voice inside my head.
Hip Hop,Trance & Techno, take me really high.
Twisted tones at torturous speeds,
eating my mind before it yields.
Loud music in my brain, makes me feel I'm going insane.
These hands now climb from the back of my head.
And with the music they rise and fall.
It pumps, and beats, it ruses and lures your sub-conscience out to play.
With your eyes, and your ears, your skin, your tongue, your breath.
Your very mind is detached from you.
Steady they climb.
The rise is yet to come.
A shiver here, a tingle there,
and you're already racing faster than the speed of light.
The faster the music gets, the quicker it rises now.
You feel that haunting chill down your spine come alive.
Like you know that something bad is gonna happen.
I welcome it.
Wasn't that the whole point of this?
I mean its not like I'm going to die, right?
And BAAM! It hits you.
Your eyes are open, but you can't register what's before them.
Its all a big paused picture,
something from a 'still life' painting or some shit.
But you don't even know how to react to it.
And that's fucking maddening...

And that went on for quite a while.
'Til disorientation tossed me into delirium.
Like a nuclear bomb of 'euphoria' exploded in my head.
Like those hands, crawling up the back of my neck,
all the way up to the top of my head,
with those cold fingers creeping not ever so slightly,
searching for a sweet spot to just dive in and poke around my brain.
Just toy with it for fuck's sake.
Because that's just how it is man.
And so comes another shiver.
I'm so aware now.
I can sense everything, hear everything,
and feel everything around me so briskly ,
that I feel I'm more than just a man.
I feel like the wind.
Blowing with the breeze and the rising screams of the drum and bass and the synthesizer.
The world around me is a blurry haze.
There's no one I can call to pick me up if I fall.
But I don't think I'd wanna. Its worth the risk.
For the next 22 hours I shall be presumed dead.
For I knew what was coming my way. But I guess I'm just that stupid.
This thirst to know the dark side hasn't been rid of me.
It calls to madness to reveal its ugly head and awaken the maniac inside.
And birth - A maniac.

Now sitting amongst the sweeping silence of this sordid room,
'neath a metal fan, buzzing on the juice, just like you,
you muse yourself to consider frail hope.
If only you weren't such a dumb ass, you could have survived.
These creaking sounds coming from the corners are new to me.
Dark is the room.
Well lit.
My eyes see something more rather, other than what they should.
Its funny as hell how these tingles never stop.
Another one streaks across me, and then there were two.
Ooh, what fun!

In bright and sober tranquility morning came.
A day had passed and I was the same.
What a trip! What a shame!
'Til we meet again, painless pain.